


Haruhi in Reality

by abrasivepersonalitytendersoul



Category: Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Dreams and Nightmares, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Nightmares, Other, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-08
Updated: 2020-02-08
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:47:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22609519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abrasivepersonalitytendersoul/pseuds/abrasivepersonalitytendersoul
Summary: “Haruhi, please come out. You don’t have to tell us everything that’s going on, but you know damn well you don’t have to be alone in it. Talk to us,” a surprisingly calm and respectful Tamaki said through the door. They all knew no one was leaving without getting some semblance of an idea of what happened behind closed eyes.Music Room 3 was so quiet, you could hear a pin drop. Even Honey had stopped munching on the last of the cake. A soft click marked the door unlocking, and it felt like forever until the door was opened. The boys all saw something they vowed they would never let happen on their watch- Haruhi’s red, puffy-faced, tear and snot covered face.
Relationships: Fujioka Haruhi & The Ouran High School Host Club, Fujioka Haruhi/Everyone, Fujioka Haruhi/Haninozuka Mitsukuni, Fujioka Haruhi/Hitachiin Hikaru, Fujioka Haruhi/Morinozuka Takashi, Fujioka Haruhi/Ootori Kyouya, Fujioka Haruhi/Suoh Tamaki, Hitachiin Hikaru/Hitachiin Kaoru
Comments: 13
Kudos: 399





	Haruhi in Reality

**Author's Note:**

> This came to me after the end of the "Haruhi in Wonderland" episode. I drew on my own experience for this, so it's very personal. My mom has been gone for over half of my life and I frequently dream she's still alive and it hecking sucks and hurts every time. I've only seen the anime, so I don't know if they get more into the death of Haruhi's mom in the manga, but have this.

The tears shed by Haruhi while she was asleep did not go unnoticed by the Host Club. The first few times it happened, they did, but once it became a weekly occurrence, even Tamaki could tell something was wrong. The normally stubborn and observant first year walked around in a hazy stupor for at least 10 minutes after waking up- like she was trying to reconcile with reality. 

Mori was actually the first one to say something. Despite his quiet, stoic demeanor and complete attentiveness to his cousin, his observation skills were on par with hers. He was helping her put away tea sets and stocking the cupboards at the end of the day’s club activities when she was recovering from her post-nap haze.

“Haruhi.”

Sniffling, she looked at him. He didn’t need to give a big speech about what he saw and she knew it. He pulled a tissue from the counter and handed it to her. She took it without immediately saying anything.

“It’s nothing, Mori-senpai,” she said after a long pause, “I have an issue with excessive tear secretion when I sleep.”

He grunted in response as she handed him a box of Honey’s favorite raspberry treats. The look on his face told her she was caught fibbing. Something the host club was adamant she stopped doing after their afternoon with her and her father. His eyes quickly focused on the doorway, drawing her attention there as well.

“Does this condition also make you call out for your mother?” Kyoya asked from the doorway.

“My eyes leak, but I definitely don’t talk in my sleep, Kyoya-senpai.”

“I have nothing to gain from lying to you just as you have nothing to gain from lying to me.”

She felt her nose turn painfully staticy from the pressure behind her eyes to cry again. She handed the last box of sweets off to Mori, pushed the cart to the side, then left the room, brushing past Kyoya, and locked herself in the restroom. By now, the whole club was watching from various spots around the room. Haruhi never runs away from confrontation- especially from someone in the club.

On the other side of the door, Haruhi was wracked with silent sobs. She knew they had known for a while. If they hadn’t figured it out on their own, her dad probably mentioned something in passing to Kyoya during one of their weekly phone calls. It was only a matter of time before her secret was found out. She tried oh, so hard to not let her facade crack when it came to her grief, but if anyone was going to see past her mask, it was going to be the six rich bastards on the other side of the door. 

A soft, sharp knock interrupted her musings, “Haruhi, please come out. You don’t have to tell us everything that’s going on, but you know damn well you don’t have to be alone in it. Talk to us,” a surprisingly calm and respectful Tamaki said through the door. They all knew no one was leaving without getting some semblance of an idea of what happened behind closed eyes.

Music Room 3 was so quiet, you could hear a pin drop. Even Honey had stopped munching on the last of the cake. A soft click marked the door unlocking, and it felt like forever until the door was opened. The boys all saw something they vowed they would never let happen on their watch- Haruhi’s red, puffy-faced, tear and snot covered face. 

Mori walked over with the box of tissues from the storage closet and handed them to her. She took the box and walked over to her backpack to make sure everything was packed up and ready for her to go home. Before she could reach it, a pair of identical red heads moved it to another spot, immediately frustrating her. Instead of saying something snarky or fighting back, she just sighed, sniffled, and sat on the couch where her bag had just been moments before. Honey was at her side immediately with Usa-Chan in tow. Before sitting down next to her, he offered it to her. She took it, meaning whatever happened was a pretty big deal. Kyoya jotted a few notes in his notebook, Mori sat on the couch next to Honey, Kaoru perched on the arm of the couch next to Haruhi, Hikaru stood next to him, and Tamaki sat in one of the chairs across the coffee table from her.

“I’m sorry I fell asleep. I haven’t been sleeping well for the last few weeks,” she started, “I thought it was stress related to the exams, but I’ve been having problems ever since. I’ve started going to bed later and later each night because I’m becoming afraid to sleep.” 

The room was silent for a moment, out of all the people present, Haruhi was the one who took the value and necessity of proper sleep the most seriously. She continued, “I’m afraid to sleep because I keep having vivid dreams where my mom is alive and well. Sometimes she’s been hiding, other times she’s been on top secret missions. It’s hardly ever the same. In a few of these dreams, I end up getting mad and yelling at her for leaving me. Regardless of what happens, I always wake up and have to relive learning she’s dead and not coming back.”

No one knew what to say, not even Kyoya. Haruhi hugged Usa-Chan close to her and poorly held back tears. 

“I spend my waking moments not letting that consume me, but then it’s like my brain betrays me and taunts me. It shows me what I’ll never have again, and it hurts. You’re supposed to be at peace when you sleep. The brain recharges and stores the information from the day. It’s not supposed to be this way! I’m supposed to still have my mom, but since I can’t have that, sleep is when I’m supposed to be free from that overwhelming feeling of abandonment. Why is this happening and why can’t I have a little peace!”

Honey moved closer to her and pulled her in for a hug, followed by Mori, Kaoru, Hikaru, Tamaki, and finally Kyoya. At the nucleus of this hug, Haruhi began crying again. They all stayed like this for what felt like an eternity. The automatic lights in the room were off by the time it was broken up and just about everyone in the room had soggy eyes. Haruhi grabbed a few more tissues and wiped what she could off her face. Usa-Chan was drenched in tears. She tried apologizing to Honey, but he wasn’t having any of that. “Usa-Chan is good at helping you hold your tears when you can’t do it by yourself.”

A weak smile came to her face. It was all she could muster after having everything drained out of her.

“It’s going to be dark soon, I need to get home so I can cook something for my dad.” 

“I’ll take you home,” the group said in unison. The boys all looked at each other. Tamaki looked out the window, “Looks like whoever’s getting picked up in the limo. That’s not mine this time.”

“Looks like us,” Hikaru said. 

After all 7 of them climbed into the limo, Kyoya was the first to speak. “We want you to tell us when you have these dreams, Haruhi. We can’t do anything about it, but we want to know. Will you tell us when it happens?”

“I can usually handle it on my own. They used to come once every month or two, but now I’m just going to have to get used to dealing with it more often. It’s nothing new.”

“Except that it is, Haruhi. Everyone knows that you don’t want to bother the people around you with your life, minute details or big picture items. We’re worried about you and your dad is worried about you. You’re not protecting others or sparing them anything and you’re hurting yourself in the process. If you’re concerned about this kind of stuff affecting us, I know there are some top rated professionals within the Ootori network that can help you. Let us help you. Your current coping strategy is not sustainable.”

The air was thick with tension. She knew he was right. He always is, and that pissed her off to no end. Haruhi kept her eyes low and played with the tassel on the zipper of her bag. “I’ll think about it.”

“Not the answer I was looking for, but I’ll accept it for now on the following conditions: One, you text the group every time you have a nightmare, two, you let us take care of dinner for you tonight, and three, you let us stay for dinner so you aren’t alone.”

“I’ll counter your offer. All of that will happen as long as dinner includes fancy tuna.”

“Deal,” the group said in unison.

While Haruhi knew she was never going to be free of her dreams, she slept well that night for the first time in a long time.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first story I've written and posted in almost a year and a half. I hope you enjoyed it!


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